When your spouse isn’t a great listener, how can you be heard, feel appreciated, and grow in your marriage when no one’s listening?
Listening is a form of communication. Next to the need to be loved, everyone wants to be heard.
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The more you have people listen to you, the greater you feel about yourself. There is value in being heard.
But unfortunately, almost 70% of women do not believe that their spouse is a good listener. Yet 50% of men agree that their spouse is a good listener.
Already, we have a problem. Most are not listening to each other or they are using the infamous “selective hearing”.
When you are not heard, you feel alone. The whole idea that “I am not enough” is solidified.
When your spouse isn’t a great listener, and your heart believes that, then the wedge begins to form between the two of you.
Wedges do not help a relationship, and wedges can grow if fed.
So how can you really encourage listening in your marriage? (Leaving the “mothering” out of the conversation.)
You can encourage listening!! But it does require work.
And the work starts with the E.A.R.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Start with the E.A.R.s!
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” ~ James 1:19
- EXCEED your own expectations of your spouse. If you want to be heard, you too must be willing to listen, and listen intently. Being present to the nth degree.
- ACCEPT what your spouse tells you at face value. “Mothering” is something you are good at. But it is an insult to your spouse. When you accept what your spouse tells you, you are empowering him with his own words. You are supporting him to hear his own voice, taking what he says seriously and not just pretending to listen and then doing what you want.
- RESPECT your spouse with with love and with gratitude. When your spouse listens to you, respect him with the recognition he deserves — love, respect, and gratitude.
“Listening can bring you closer together as a couple. Turn your ear toward your spouse!”
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